I danced in the arms of death…

I danced in the arms of death. His soft whispers glided across my bare skin and tales of memories lost in the chasms of his sweet touches floated through the air.

He felt like home and so we danced some more. He twirled me with a force so powerful electrifying my every nerve, nestling me in silken ribbons of onyx he left a trail of burning kisses down my nape.

I lost myself in his arms that night.

Even now in the stillness of the darkest hours, I hear his music and death asking me for another dance.

© Aanchal Gounder

I wrote this in 2015 I just found it and thought I’d post it. I wanted to re-edit it and change it up because I know I can make it so much better but I still remember the night I wrote this the moment when I knew it was the beginning of my world starting to fall apart again and I was thinking back to the time I tried to take my own life because I was getting close to the edge again and this is what I created.  

It was a Sunday…

It was a Sunday like no other

there was no gentle breeze

the wind was speaking itself into a frenzy, tortured as if it couldn’t quite get its bearing and it did not spare me as it passed by it left me in bruises some shallow some deep and whispered a secret that I could never seek to understand

but I understood the frenzy of its soul.

A Sunday like no other

the sun was lashing out, a passionate rage, fighting against the inevitable darkness. It lit the sky in flames igniting the clouds into a fury of colors, drowning the earth in its drunken madness as if it was its last hurrah, it wanted to be felt and so it rained fire

and it burned and I burned with it.

It was a Sunday like no other and as the dark came it swallowed the sun whole but spared me so I stayed and met it with a smile but the moon was in a mood not so bright, it did not want to say hello instead it hid amongst the ravens of the night and their vengeful thunderbolts, I could hear the chaos booming through the night so violent so full of fright

it stirred awake within me a chaos otherworldly, it said hello

and because it was a Sunday like no other I welcomed it home.

© Aanchal Gounder

Black Lives Matter

The fact that this even has to be addressed in 2020. The fact that Black men, women, and children are still not given equal value in today’s society based on their race, their skin color, and just simply for existing. Their ancestors are the ones who built America, the very foundation of this countries growth, and yet here we are screaming Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter! at the top of our lungs because sadly it still doesn’t matter. They are perceived as a threat, by the cops who kill them by the white people who call the cops on them because they feel “unsafe” due to their own racial prejudices against them and by those who want to scream all lives matter and use that as a reason not to fight for black lives. “All lives matter” and if we lived in a utopian society it would and there would be no need for this movement because there would be no systemic racism and systemic killing of Black Americans but they don’t, all lives don’t matter right now, black lives don’t matter right now not here in America and from what I’m seeing from protests around the globe not in many other places as well and it’s time we change that. Their lives matter not just today, not because it’s trending on social media and everyone is talking about it but every day, it needs to matter every day. This fight needs to continue until they matter and until we get to a point where we can say all lives matter because all lives finally DO matter.

Below are a couple of pictures that I took of one of the marches I went to this past weekend. I’ll probably update this with more pictures from other marches and some of the things that are going on in my city in regards to the movement.

All images are mine unless stated otherwise. © Aanchal Gounder

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Othello Park, Seattle WA

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Thousands March for BLM Seattle,WA

 

Seattle Street Art

Seattle Street Art – Image captured by Kyle Kotajarvi

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I went to CHOP Seattle to check it out for myself

 

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East Precinct

 

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Ever have one….

Ever have one of those silent gut-wrenching cries in the bathroom or maybe when you’re laying down in the dark at night, you know the kind where you cover your mouth and hope you don’t make a sound so no one else will hear you while completely falling apart?  It happens. It just happened the other day for me. That’s part of my present and I make the best of it. I’m human and I know I’m not alone in this. Life is messy. We all have our stories, we all have been through hell at one point or another. Some more often than others but that doesn’t make anyone’s pain less than. Your pain is your pain, if it hurts then it hurts and that is enough for it to matter. There was a time I thought I was alone in my suffering that I should be ashamed of the dark thoughts that transpired. So yes, when I get to that point of silently crying because it’s all become too much and everything is just hitting me all at once I still have thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore, at that moment everything is so bleak and every ugly thing I can say to myself, I say it. I don’t hold back. But when I’m done, I wipe away my tears and wait for tomorrow. Face another day, and that within itself is winning for me.

© Aanchal Gounder