Ever have one….

Ever have one of those silent gut-wrenching cries in the bathroom or maybe when you’re laying down in the dark at night, you know the kind where you cover your mouth and hope you don’t make a sound so no one else will hear you while completely falling apart?  It happens. It just happened the other day for me. That’s part of my present and I make the best of it. I’m human and I know I’m not alone in this. Life is messy. We all have our stories, we all have been through hell at one point or another. Some more often than others but that doesn’t make anyone’s pain less than. Your pain is your pain, if it hurts then it hurts and that is enough for it to matter. There was a time I thought I was alone in my suffering that I should be ashamed of the dark thoughts that transpired. So yes, when I get to that point of silently crying because it’s all become too much and everything is just hitting me all at once I still have thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore, at that moment everything is so bleak and every ugly thing I can say to myself, I say it. I don’t hold back. But when I’m done, I wipe away my tears and wait for tomorrow. Face another day, and that within itself is winning for me.

© Aanchal Gounder

27 thoughts on “Ever have one….

  1. You are surely a winner, because its very hard to potray painful feelings in simple words, but you do that flawlessly. Darkness, pain and suffering is a part of us to make us help realise there is a balance between day and night. What you do is brave and powerful, wonderful strong writting. Take care

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry to hear you were having such a hard time. But yes, you’re not alone and if you ever need a silent companion or someone to vent to please feel to contact me. I give free hugs. Be strong the way you have been so far! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I feel you. It’s always comforting to be able to share with strangers more than with people who you know because we are afraid of how they would think about us or behave with us later on. But with people like me, you have no stakes, so feel free to reach out whenever. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It really is, I always joke around how some of the closest friendships and deepest conversations I’ve ever had were in fact with complete strangers. Anyways will do and same goes for you if you ever need to vent feel free to reach out as well.

        Liked by 1 person

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